I’ve never doubted that you love me. I’ve never had to. This is for you Daddy.
Since you are over 5,000 miles away and it was your birthday last week, I didn’t really get the chance to do much for you. You have been on my mind a lot, though. So here’s to you, Daddy. I love you.
If somebody were to ask me to describe you, I wouldn’t know where to start. A million memories, pictures, and moments wouldn’t begin to do you justice. You are the greatest man I know. How can that even begin to be put into words on my pathetic little blog? How can I even TRY to put into words my gratitude and love for you?
I can’t.
This measly blogpost is going to have to do for now.
Banana works of art. Doodles of characters with huge eyes and no hair, funny messages and “I love yous” carved into the bananas you’d pack in my home lunch. In middle school I was embarrassed of them and would peel my banana all the way down as fast as possible without anybody seeing. In junior high I loosened up and began proudly showing my banana trophies off to all my friends every lunch. The “daily banana” quickly became a hot commodity.
(this was given to me by you after I’d had to go to the ER because of my concussion and you and mom came up to stay in Logan with me)
A nickel for every time I touched the ball on my city league soccer team “the butterflies.” Although with somewhat of a pained smile, I still received a thumbs up from you after playing keeper and letting in four goals after only five minutes. Needless to say I stuck to playing on the field from then on. A few enthusiastic “go butterflies!” from you would keep me smiling during the game. Driving home from the game you’d offer me little points of improvement. I learned early on to “stay hungry” as you’d say, and never be satisfied.
I wasn’t old enough to remember this memory, but I have been told the story so many times I think I now have a fake memory of it implanted. You were working in the yard moving around dirt or something in the wheelbarrow, yet had to still watch me. So to make matters easier, you plunked me right in the wheelbarrow and pushed me around throughout the day. I was delighted and happy to spend a day with daddy in the dirt.
Countless nights you thought I was asleep and came in to kiss me on the cheek and whisper “Te Quiero” softly in my ear. Once, you caught me peeking at you. You simply smiled at me while I quickly shut both my eight-year-old eyes tight back into my pseudo slumber.
Although you are in spain right now and usually you and mom get me a little somethin somethin for valentine’s day, I received something far greater this year. You both sent me long, wonderful emails. I read them often when I am feeling down or having an awful day. I know that 5,000 miles away I have my biggest cheerleaders.
Track meet after long boring track meet you were there to support me. One meet it began to rain unexpectedly and it was my turn to run soon. I remember scanning the bleachers to find you. You were standing there in the awful weather holding your jacket above your head as a makeshift umbrella, watching me. When state track championships came around senior year and I was waiting on the track for my heat in the 4A 400 meter finals, you helped calm me down. I was FAREAAAAKING out and you came up next to me by the fence separating the track from the onlookers, rubbed my shoulders, and helped me relax. I ended up having an AWESOME race. I ran directly over to you afterwards and gave you a big hug. Later that day, when we won the STATE CHAMPIONSHIP I proudly held the trophy high and walked over to you and Mom as you both smashed me with hugs and kisses.
(this was taken right after my race)
I love your knack for beautiful writing. You wrote me the most amazing letters while I was away at girls camp and pioneer trek. In these letters not only do you bear your testimony to me, but go on for paragraphs about how much I am loved. About how much you love me.
All those 5:30am mornings of practicing piano before school, you’d be sitting there on the couch, already writing away on your laptop. Besides the annoying reminders every so often to “stick to your lesson music” if I got lazy and started messing around or playing Disney music (can you feel the love tonight was just so much fun to play!!) you’d pause from your writing and compliment me after I finished playing a piece well. Having the words come from you meant more to me than from anyone. Even my own piano teacher. (shhh don’t tell her)
You’d double, even triple my boggle scores for years until I was good enough to get close to your scores. Too bad now I ALWAYS beat you!! J muahaha you taught me well.
You and the family came up to watch almost every home game (5 hour round trip every time) up here. Whether I started the game or played 20 minutes, you always gave me the biggest, proudest smile after every game. You didn’t even need to say anything; your smile always gave you away. You were always so proud of me.
(after one of our home games at USU)
Over the summer I made brownies at home and complained because not even an hour after I’d made them ALL around the edge had been eaten by YOU!!!! D:< (the edges are my favorite) But the edges are your favorite too. The last time I made brownies at home, you kindly left half the edges specifically for me. What a kind father you are. ;) hahah
With every single guy I went out with (whether you approved or not) you took the time to talk with him and offer some kind words. You did it for me, not for them.
I used to hate my freckles. One day, I began complaining to you and blaming it on your genetics. You responded by holding me down and kissing my arms insanely. I screamed and asked you what the heck you were doing. You responded in between kisses. “Just ‘muah’ kissing ‘muah’ all ‘muah’ these ‘muah’ cute ‘muah’ things!!!
When I asked to have “walk on your hands” contests with you, the answer was always yes. One evening, after a walk on your hands contest with me a few hours earlier, you were standing in your room holding your back. I came up behind you and asked what was wrong. You said you’d hurt it doing handstands with me. For days after, you walked a little weird cause your back still hurt so badly. The things you do for your daughter.
At my senior prom right after promenade when all the photo-crazed parents were snap-happy taking pictures of their children’s big moment, you took me aside for a second. You hugged me, kissed me on the forehead and said just loud enough for me to hear: “you’re stealing the show, Brooke.”
(at prom)
Right before I came back up here to USU for the second semester of school, I was getting really upset at the thought of leaving home again. The last few days before I was to leave you’d caught me crying a few times. Although the thought had never occurred to me myself, you offered to give me a father’s blessing. I took you up on that and know that the blessing has definitely helped me. J
I could seriously go on and on daddy, but I am sleepy and need to finish my homework. But I hope this makes you realize that what you do does not go unnoticed. All the little things, all the little actions are the things that meant the most. The things that MEAN the most. Heavenly Father sure smiled down upon me when he blessed me as your daughter. I’m so incredibly lucky.
I have never had any doubts that you love me. That is the greatest thing a father can give. I miss you. I love you forever.
Love always,
Your Brookie (“waddis daddy!! Waddis!!!”)
