You
light the spark in my bonfire heart
Before
you read this post, just take a listen to this song. Pretty please.
I
think I knew early on. I think I knew the day you came to my game and watched
us beat Seattle in the WAC conference tournament semis. I’d met you a week
before. After my family and friends congratulated me, you stood off to the side,
smiling to yourself at the ground. Your hands were in your pockets. When you
finally made your way to me, you whispered in my ear.
“You
know when you wrecked #20 and just got up and walked away like it was nothing?
Yeah. That was hot.”
Or
maybe it was when we went with a bunch of friends up the canyon to have a fire.
We were making s’mores and telling stories when you jumped up and said you
needed to get something from the truck. A minute later you emerged into the
clearing dragging an axe. Somehow I wasn’t surprised whatsoever. Without giving
anyone a chance to say anything you abruptly climbed a nearby tree and began
hacking away at one of its dead branches. You said the branch was dead and just
in the way, so you needed to fix it up so it looked better.
Your
roommate Taylor jokingly said it wasn’t manly unless you were doing it
shirtless. With no words or hesitation — but I noticed a slight smile — you ripped
your shirt off, threw it to the ground and aggressively continued chopping. I
started choking on the chocolate-marshellowy mush in my mouth between
uncontrollable laughs. Pieces of graham cracker spewed out with every guffaw.
I
think I knew then.
*Cliché
warning* I fell hard. I’m talking face down in the concrete from a 60-story
building hard. I was vulnerable and for the first time in my life, I didn’t
feel in control.
Crazy
to think that early on I almost broke things off with you only one month into
dating because I was POSITIVE I wasn’t nor would be ready at all to get married
anytime within the next two years. So, to avoid further attachment and
inevitable hurt hearts, I thought I should end things. One night, I was
freaking out and crying on the phone to my mom.
I
was completely taken aback by her response. She said something along the lines
of:
“Brooke...
don’t mess this one up.”
I
have no doubt she was completely inspired in that moment.
Given
my history and experiences, all I have to say is Heavenly Father sure has a way
of letting His children know what He wants them to do — no matter how stubborn or
in denial they may be.
So,
months later, I found myself up Smithfield Canyon on a hot May day — hands over
face and goose bumps on legs — staring wide-eyed down at a Canadian boy who was
on one knee asking me a question. THE question. I had chills sooo bad (hence
the goose bumps). Amidst the moment of excitement I accidently swallowed my gum
(uh oh, looks like it’s stuck in my stomach for seven years). I had to take a
big gulp to make sure it wasn’t still stuck in my throat (so I didn’t sound
like a smoker-grandma when I responded) and then proceeded to make by far the EASIEST
no-brainer decision of my life.
**gulp** “YES! OF COURSE! DUH!”
“People like us
We don’t
Need that much
Just some
One that starts
Starts the spark in our
bonfire hearts”
Then
there was July 13, 2013. The most beautiful and perfect overcast day I think
there has ever been on this earth. Obviously I’m biased, but whatever.
I’d
pictured this day for my entire life. I’d pictured my hair, my dress, my groom…
everything. I just never imagined it would have become a reality so soon. So
much sooner than I’d planned my life to play out. But Heavenly Father has a
bigger plan than our own personal stubborn agendas.
It
was the most beautiful and perfect overcast day. Wait did I already say that?
Gawwwwsh. I will save my wedding day details as another blog post entirely… but
it was something special.
It
was the day we committed to love each other for eternity.
So
here’s the thing. Before you, I was happy. Very, very happy actually. It’s not
like I was this sad lonely creature or anything. Life was going GREAT. I was
happily in my major with great teammates, friends and roommates. I was even
kind of dating someone. Kind of. But life was so so good.
But
then you.
I
didn’t know what I was missing until I had it. But I discovered pretty quickly
that thing you had (whatever the heck it was)… yeah I wanted it. I had to have
it. I had to have you. Soooo I kinda let the other dude down easy — after just
one date with you.
I wasn’t just happy anymore. I was
contagiously happy. Smiling and laughing more than normal. Incredibly content
with life.
You
know that little smile and satisfied sigh you do when you’re by yourself and
thinking about something good that’s happened that day? Or maybe you do it
after you get a particular text from someone. Or eat something yummy. Whatever.
We all do it. Well, I’ve found myself in a habit of doing that a lot ever since
you came around. It just happens. No, it’s not like I’m sitting in class day
dreaming of you smiling and sighing to myself like an emancipated junior high
school girl. I’m smiling and sighing just because. Not even thinking about
anything in particular. I’m smiling and sighing because I feel so satisfied
with life and where I am. Excited about where I’m going. Smiling and sighing
because I just feel so full of happy and love all the time that I just have to
breathe some of it out every once in awhile.
You
started something. You brought something on. I’m more me. My average happy level has gone up about 40%
(…I don’t know, 40% just sounded good). My heart feels like it's grown three sizes. I've cried more happy tears in the past year than in my entire life. My annoying guffaw of a laugh is a
little louder.
You
started a fire. And it turned into a freaking bonfire.
“Days like these
Lead to
Nights like this
Lead to
Love like ours
You light the
spark in my bonfire heart”
