It's one in the morning and I can't sleep. my mind is in a thousand places at once and i can't seem to gather my thoughts. So. i'll just let these quotes and photographs say what my heart is saying; the things my mouth can't find the words for tonight.

Never get tired of doing little things for others. sometimes it's the little things that occupy the biggest part of their hearts.

that's all i've got for today.

Put together?

Wearing just a t-shirt and shorts with my hair up in a loose bun, the splotchy remains of aggie blue nail-polish still on my fingers, and a faded heart on my wrist drawn in humanities the day before, I walked across campus to class. That morning I’d been up late skyping friends back home until 1 or so, causing me to sleep in through my alarm that morning. Which left me about 10 minutes to get ready for my first class. For some girls, this could be a problem. For me? No sweat. I quickly brushed my teeth, put a little mascara on, grabbed a granola bar and was out the door. I was sporting a bit of a messy sort of look today. oh well. :)

On my way to class sometimes accidental eye contact with a stranger would inevitably occur, with which I greeted with a friendly smile every time. It was interesting to me to see the people who would return the smile. And of course those that wouldn’t. One girl’s actions really struck me. First let me describe her. She wore designer jeans and carried an adorable huge purple (probably designer as well) purse over one shoulder. Her hair was long and beautiful in a way that made other girls walking by stare with envy. She was undoubtedly beautiful, but was wearing quite a large amount of make up. Her pretty eyes were overtaken by the bold, thick black with which she’d outlined them. But none of that was what caught my eye about her. Her constantly shifting eyes glanced constantly at the people all around her. Her free hand not carrying her books adjusted her already perfect hair or her big beaded necklace self consciously, while a look of uneasiness painted her perfectly made up face. As if one disapproving look towards her by someone would send her to tears. In passing, we made eye contact. I smiled at her. She did not smile back. She looked me and my outfit up and down; her lips still set in a straight line, and walked on by.

This little occurrence with a random student on campus probably lasted 10 seconds or less, yet has had a lasting effect on me.

She, though virtually more “put together” than I; she, though seemingly equipped with everything to make her feel good about her appearance..... still was lacking something.

Self Assurance.

I realized at that moment that I, though in fact a disgruntled and frenzied appearance, was more at ease with myself than she. Even her look-me-up-and-down didn’t faze me whatsoever. I could care less if she was disapproving towards what I was wearing. Self-confidence and personal certainty come from within. Looking nice and feeling nice about your appearance can most definitely give you a boost, but a boost can only take you so far. Slather on a face full of make up, dress yourself up to reach the expectations of others, but at the end of the day all you’ve got is you. Being comfortable with who you are brings self-assurance.

Nothing you put on or wear can bring that.

So who's more "put together".... me or her? you can decide.